is it still called home if it doesn't feel like it??

home used to be where ma, pa, sang, sandy n i lived together...
it used to be waking up to ma pulling of our blankets and trying to whistle...
it used to be where pa would sneak in to our room to make sure we are not cold...
used to be the same side of bed cos sang did not like to be near the window..
used to be the same pillow n blanket years after ma said i needed new one's...
in the last few years i have changed so many blankets, beds n rooms...
that i wake up often wondering where am i???
n when i am out and i say i need to get back home....i wonder if i where i live is home
cos there's no familiar sound, smell or people here...
sometimes i sleep with the lights on cause i feel confused and disoriented about where i am

transitions

I was a little skeptical going to India because I thought with a new member in the family things my change ways that I wont feel at home....fortunately it was not so....shaily is absolutely sweet and I feel nice to have her...she feels like a little sister we have known for long.....on the way back I was scared about not being able to hold my tears because with sang, sany, shaily and manoj gone ma and pa had only I and ross to focus on....Luckily I managed to hold them till I got into the flight....in delhi ankur, richa and ghungroo came to see me....it was nice to see how they got along so well....
now back in worcester...looking for new apts getting ready to say goodbye to friends I made one after another....getting ready to finish work with the city of worcester and the master's paper and begin looking for jobs....
miss being home!!

new beginnings

the year end was like a deja vu of the last year end...went to florida again...met nibi,chutki hemant for x'mas...the only differnt thing was the cruise to the bahamas...
it is such a tourist place meant for the white people...with restaurants serving white people's food and expensive private beaches.....
in all we did have a good time...but resolved on not going to touristy places for some time....
amar would be here by tuesday....this semester it would be two couples in the house...jayesh n i and joe and amar.....amar got engaged over the winter.....I am getting home sick again seeing chhotu pack up to leave for home....missing family...missing playing with ross!!