Containment

'Anger...slips through customs unnoticed. Doesn't show up in baggage checks.' :from 'power Politics' written by Arundhati Roy.

oof nothing works!

Saying nothing works is an escapist way out.
It good to critique and challenge third ways...at the same time its imporatant to see if there if there is something positive about it......you need to be the one to get up and say if something doesnot work what could you do differently to make it work!
These are notes myself 'cos i get at points i think are deadends and stop thinking beyond!

Bananeras

This is a line for me to remind myself when I am low and for all the great women I know and have met and the one's I have to met yet
“you are a great woman because you have the courage to accept yourself and like yourself the way you are”

This is a line I read and said wow to myself
“I Hope that you remember me when it’s 12 at night and you think of me even though I don’t know you. I hope to know you some day; and I hope that I am granted this wish to know you. This is my greatest wish, to know someone to whom I’ve confessed what happened in my life”

17th september

It’s 17th septmeber
Nothing’s significant about this day.
But for some reason ramu’s been on my mind (is it cos I had two glasses of wine and saw zodiac and am dead tired because I haven’t slept last night. Or is it that I am In the U.S and a student and that is what ram was what a decade ago and I was wondering how was the experience for him? Ramu we (sang, sandy and I) miss you like crazy and love you.
Anita

Dead hooker pond

I have been in worcester for more than a year and was told crystal pond/ university park pond is really a dead hooker pond by seniors. I asked around at Annie clark's brunch place and acoustic java and was told similar nasty stories that made me insecure when i went over there for walks in the evening.

Surprisingly today in the political ecology class diane took us for this walk around red sqaure and besides the other places she took us to 'the spot'. It was amazing to here how she analyzed the polictical ecology of the whole discourse! i was flattered.

left me speechless

Syeed- How come Niko has two pairs of sneakers? How come I have to wear the same pair through the year?

rossie and joie

that'a a pics of ross and joie....joie is so cute.....i saw this gentler side of ross once again.....he let joie so cutely climb over him, bite him, shared his toys and snuggle close to him and sleep.....they played like they've known each other for ever.....after an hour of being together when joie went away ross seemed to be already missing him

about loneliniess and secrets of the soul

"Each one of us is alone in the world. We seek pitifully to convey to others the treasures of our heart, but they have not the power to accept them, and so we go lonely, side by side but not together, unable to know our fellows and unknown by them".

'A man's work reveals him. In social intercourse he gives you the surface that he wishes the world to accept, and you can only gain a true knowledge of him by inferences from little actions, of which he is unconscious, and from fleeting expressions, which cross his face unknown to him. Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem. But in his book or his picture the real man delivers himself defenceless. His pretentiousness will only expose his vacuity. The lathe painted to look like iron is seen to be but a lathe. No affectation of peculiarity can conceal a commonplace mind. To the acute observer no one can produce the most casual work without disclosing the innermost secrets of his soul.'

lines from S. Maugham's 'the moon and the sixpence'

Anthropology’s curse!

As a business management graduate I was trained to think in bullet points and that even most complex issues could be sorted out using cost benefit or swot analysis. I was always intrigued by social sciences, especially anthropology. I used to wonder how it would be to see the world with anthropological lenses. And now the damage is done. I used to decipher problems bit by bit. But now I try to look at the whole entire picture that overwhelms me and makes my world very complex. En plus I cringe to narrate discussions and interviews in third person because the whole time I am thinking was I objective enough, did the discussion get biased because of the power I have as a researcher over the respondent, did the process verge on being unethical, or was it truly consensual….I did learn new ways of seeing and interpreting things with anthropology…..what I complain is about that anthropology did not teach me how to unravel the mess!

My cynicism, 108, et al

A little after sashi joined the satyam foundation team I had seen a walk out from our Monday morning meeting at the barkatpura office for the first time in three years. That was the first time I had seen any stress in this some what queer space (queer space in my mind is a space that is inclusive though it does have space for conflicts and questioning). This was incidentally one of the last Monday morning meetings held. You could check the last entry in the minute’s diary to confirm it. I could not take sides because over time I had begun to adore and respect lalitha, sashi and lalita. At that moment I had thought barkatpura is the way it is because it did not want to be like a corporate house. We are not about modules and other mundane things. As much as I believed sashi is never wrong I thought he should not be getting in the satyam corporate jargons to thinksoft. Now the way I look at it is more complex than that. I know in many ways the way satyam foundation works depends on what raju feels like. But in my interactions with sashi and others I realized that many of them were there not just for the salary or fame but because they felt committed to causes they were working on.

It’s been a week since I came back from mehbubnagar but unlike the last time I did not write an everyday note. This wasn’t because I did not have time. It was because what happened there was far more intense for me to write it like a diary. Everything seemed alright in terms of the community kitchen at karni and muslaipally this time. But when we reached Anugonda we felt there was something not right. It felt too silent. We would see a 108 vehicle come into the village every now and then. We went straight to the sarpanch’s house to inquire. He was having a drink you have when one’s dehydrated. We asked him what was wrong and said we will return later if he was unwell. He said no wait and that he needed to speak to us. He finished his drink and was quiet. Unlike this person who spoke real powerfully in front of an audience of 250 in an all india conference. We asked him how the community kitchen was working in the village. He broke down and said it was shut for two days. When we asked him what happened he said that satya sai drinking water was shut for one day because the motor broke down and 100 people in the village have fallen sick (with motions and vomiting) and two died. He later showed us the well from where the villagers drank water in absence of the satya sai water. It did not look like a well it was more like a swamp. That’s the reason 108 vehicle’s have been coming in almost every 10 minutes to take people to the hospital and even his son was out for three days getting supplies for people and taking them to the hospital.

My cynicism, 108, et al……I used to think all the foundations of big companies used to be set up for the rich so they do not spend guilty about big pay pockets. 108 which was the brainchild of some satyamite disproved my cynicism about them.

You know you are on Hyderabad roads when…

At 9 in the morning driving to work you see this man in fancy glares and cordless hands free; dressed in formals that are a little glossy; he’s in this shiny-sleek black luxury car; he is in the middle of this road which has chronically high traffic and he is right in between the road; he suddenly opens his car door (yes he is on the driving seat); his head pops out and he looks down like he’s searching for a precious possession of his and what he does really is spit gutka!

Co-opting versus aligning

Its amazing to work with people who are radical activists.....for one they know they will not be the majority but they know about aligning with different people whether its the academia, corporates, students, NGOs, military or the State....I haven't yet seen a radcical activist co-opt........but its different with academics who are confused or trying to look cool by calling themselves activists but make a big fuss in face of having to align with people with whom they have ego clashes but in no time will co-opt when power changes place.

“Allah aapki jodi salamat rakhe”

When said that people back of immediately saying yeh mera shohar /begum nahin hai. Are ‘joidis’ or ‘pairs’ a natural state of being? How many people ever think about how jodi’s could be friends, sisters, mom and daughter, partners, colleagues? How many people think that how families/ pairs/ jodis/ couples are but social constructions? If we were meant to be a fixed 1-1 jodi woudn’t we be born stuck to each other?

Chotella!

That was what I had named my lil’ sis. I had lunch with her …just me and her……this just happened twice in the whole entire time I’ve been back (we used to sleep in the same bed, live in the same room, go to school together till marriage split us up)……the time I spend with her means a lot to me. I still remember when she would hide behind me and let me face scolding from parents and I would do it happily for her and sandy. When she spoke about how she wants to start a family in two years it felt like a role reversal. Cos now im this wanderer without a base and she speaks like she’s older than me.

of loved one's and second chances

Read the latest book by mitch albom that anup gave me. It’s name did not stick in my head. This book is about this person who realizes what his mom went to him when he lost her and luckily for him he gets another day with his mom and time to reconcile differences. What is weird is I was thinking about something on these lines a few days before.
How at bashir bagh papa was not very close to three of us and though mom was close her attention was divided between 9 of us. It’s is when we moved out of that protected shell of our joint family that we saw ma n dad are also vulnerable. In the 5-6 years of us away from the joint family was when we grew up together. It was like a new beginning. We could not even have a family dinner without someone getting upset. I remember once sandy and sang couldn’t stop giggling and making noise and papa was like I can’t have dinner with this noise. We all were silent for the rest of the dinner. But one time finally three of us said we can’t have dinner in such silence and took our plates upstairs. That’s when we began having noisy family dinners. The time sandy was away studying and then sang was when I got both papa and ma’s undivided attention. Though I missed both sang and sandy like crazy.
We all got a second chance of revisiting our relationships with sang and my wedding. That taught me how any place where ma, papa, sang, sandy and ross belong will be home for me forever.
Finally when I went off to Worcester to study and be around jayesh is when I learned how much Hyderabad is also a part of my identity. Though I love loa, little niko, iye, miriam, and the people at stone soup at Worcester….but Hyderabad is a part of me and makes me feel home. During this stay all the time so far in Hyderabad I would be at home at every chance I get. I do not want to be away from ma, papa, sandy and rossie. This line about how when your are miserable you make lives of people around yourself miserable. Anup said it’s cos you love yourselves more than others. I dissented cos I think sometimes when you are feeling low you can’t see the impact of that on your loved once. I know that because I have made sang and ma cry in the past but never intended to. If ever in my life id have to choose between me and the one’s I care for. I would not choose me.

at makthal

Im doing an offline blog because I am at Makthal and there is no internet connection in this town.
I have been in Makthal since 11th morning. The first day we stayed at the Yugantar office. It is nicely located away from the noises, traffic and pollution of the town. There is Mahila Samatha office under Yugantar office. The best part of that place was the girls who stay there. They are rescues child-laborers who stay at Mahila Samatha and are taught and fed there. There were close to 30 girls who are taught at Makthal the curriculum from 1st till 5th class in a year. One women who was a jogini is now employed by Mahila Samatha to cook and feed these girls. She also made coffee for us in the morning and evening and has amazing patience to take care of these 30 girls. These girls were very curious about us and would come up and speak to us every time they got a chance to. They initially thought I was a French person because some French people had visited them earlier and because of my telugu skills. When Padma was around she would translate. The fun thing was when Padma was not around and I would communicate with them in my broken Telugu. On the first day we just went to the bank to do the account transfer done. Then we stayed at the office and Padma slept till the evening and I was busy hanging out with these girls. In the night I went to sleep at around 11 and in 15 minutes I felt something bite m left arm that hurt a lot and left my hand swollen and red where it bit. Then I changed my position and slept and was bitten again and I changed my position, used a second sheet to cover my selves and washed my arms. After getting bitten a third time I got up and sat on a chair for two hours and tried sleeping. Around two the insects crawling on the ground seemed lesser in number and then I sweeped the floor and slept. I woke up again at 6 because of a power cut.

The second day we went to three villages, Anugonda, Muslaipally and Karni to see how the community kitchens are running. We saw the feeding happening in Anugonda and Karni. In Muslaipally they had already fed before we got there. Was sad in Kaini that some of the people who are destitute and eligible to eat in the community kitchen do not go and eat because the person who cooks in a sc woman. The people in Karni who had come to be fed were thanking us and falling at our feet saying that they were weak and starving before the community kitchen started and now they are feeling better. Two very old women who we spoke to had no family and some other’s family had migrated to work in cities. Some of them receive a pension of 200 Rs a month or free rice on Anthyodhaya card. After that we went to Makthal had lunch rested at the office for a bit and then went to Karni to interview a retired head master whose name is Lingappa who presently does agricultural work. We also took a walk to see his farm. In a small patch where he grows mangoes he has 7-8 types of mango trees. He even had blue mangoes (Neelam) that I had not seen before. From him we got leads about who are the other people we could speak to in the village the next day. We went back and this time we moved to a hotel because I did not intend to get bitten again. Felt sad moving out belongings because I would miss conversations with the girls at Mahila Samatha.

The third day we started with going to Karni at 8:30 to attend a fisher community meeting. We had gone there because we had heard that when they bid for fishing at the tank the money that gets collected goes towards development of the village. The community organizer had told us that he wanted to speak to the fisher community and the Panchayat so a part of that could be used for funding the community kitchen. It wasn’t that Yugantar is unwilling to put in the money (we have already put it in the bank account and do not plan to withdraw it) but the idea was to find means to sustain it beyond the one year project period and just check if people in this community wanted to contribute to feeing vulnerable, destitute people from there own village. They were speaking at the top of their voices to bid for an amount for the tank but were quiet and ignored when the question of contributing to the kitchen came up. Someone whispered to us that most of the money collected really goes for funding liquor at village festivals! That was it then we went back to the town. Returned in the evening to interview farmers for my study.

The last day was uneventful. We waited till noon for two sarpanches when they were to come to the bank at 10 A.M. One said at noon that he will take another two hours and we asked him not to come. The other came by half past noon. Then we left for another village from where we had to pick ‘sapota picker’ and then had lunch and got back home by evening.

blogging from home

Been a long time since I’ve blogged. The gap was not cos of a lack of bloggable things but general laziness. I faired pretty well this term with two As (in land use and environmental policy) and one A- (in project management). Then I had a wonderful time traveling with sang, jayesh and manoj from Raleigh to DC to Worcester to Vermont to New York ending at Hyderabad. I am already feeling bad that at the end of three months I will have to go back.

As soon as I arrived at Hyderabad I got this welcome from Cookie and Tannu who climbed over the railing and ran to us. Then the drama began with ross getting knocked in a car accident and sandy getting bitten. That’s when I thought there is so much happening out here every minute….compared to this life in Worcester is so slow…..there I had to force my selves outta the bed because I had no motivation to wake up….here I wake up early, sleep late and yet feel the day isn’t enough to do all that I mean to.

I will be going off to makthal on 9th for a week. I am not sure if I am ready with my research design yet. I am hoping that staying in Makthal will help me figure out the direction I need to take my research in. Sad I wouldn’t be spending this weekend with cherry and coca. Cherry’s here for another weekend and coca will be here the whole time.

Need more than just bringing back the troops!

We had organized the march and rally which was success in terms of people turning up to march and rally…….but the Pentagon is continuing to fund and escalate the war….. How many people give a thought to the fact that the Iraqis were better of before American occupation? What is scary is of the people who are against the war in Iraq and want the troops back are worried about the American soldiers that die. People want the troops back and do not want the war to continue because the welfare funding in the US gets effected. The American troops in Iraq atleast ensure that their would not be machines bombing mercilessly…..if the troops are back and machines replace them it would be a huge disaster…..so the call must not be to have the troops back but the war to end…..one of my fav. Slogans was ‘and you thought bush was pro-life?’

b'day wishes, chocoloates and farts

The b'day was not as bad as I cribbed...spoke to family and friends all day all night.....got this fancy box of dark chocolates from my crazy family, went for dinner with some of my best friends to my favorite vietnamese restaurants where loa and fui treated me....started work at epoca....in all was a nice day

b'day blues

I was speaking to sang this evening….she said she got worried in the morning ‘cos she dreamt it was already 28th and she did not wish me yet…..then she said it will be the first time that I would be without her and the rest of the family for my birthday…..i thought I did not care for my b’day…but after speaking to sang I had a sinking feeling…I do not really care for celebration or partying for b’day…but being away made me realize what I do care for and what I will miss this year….I care to be with family and close friends and I will be without them for the first time this year on my b’day.

Ode to St. Urho

Loa, Amar, Megh, Nico, and I boycotted the St. Patrick's day party, at the neighbors. There plan was to be drink all day. We hold nothing against St. Patrick only we do not need cultural excuses to get drunk. Then Jodi told us about the Finish St. Urho who is an invention of a Finnish-American who apparently casted grasshoppers out of Finland by the power of his loud voice. Jodi says St. Urho's feast is supposed to be celebrated by wearing the color Royal Purple. "Grasshopper, grasshopper, go from hence to Hell!".


Nico, Amar Loa and I made ghost and star shaped sugar cookies saw a movie and ate pizzas (in between peeped out to see how the neighbors are getting drunk). Unfortunately, I have no pics of the cookie making but do have some of the time earlier in the morning when I was playing in the snow. By the way, there was a huge storm the day before with 12 inches of snow and freezing rain. can you believe 12 inches of snow two day after we had touched 50 F after months?!! I spend some time listening ‘piya basanti re kahe sataye aaja’.









That's my neighbor's car.....someone really used super brain power to shovel the snow!

Animal Farm

I had reluctantly agreed to go to the farm…but I am glad I did go…its was fun to pet animals and see this dog as silly as ross.
Checking out handicrafts

Before leaving

Eating Pancakes with maple syrup

Mom and kid

Stupid doggie is guarding chicken feed to be able to catch the chicken...managed a mouthful of feathers after trying for an hour. Reminds me of rossie following the cat

yaaden reh jaati hai

Sang: tu kya karri?

Anita: kuch nahin, padi hoon….woke up late and wasted all day went to a brazilian restaurant for dinner. Sarah’s gone home so I am alone.

Sang: apni life kitni alag ho gayee na, I am surrounded by people always and have to wake up early and do routine things whether I like it or not

Anita: haan its good ki I do what I like but its depressing sometimes to even wake up ‘cos there is no one around and no reason to wake up. Apan log 11 no. par hi ache the na? we had people around still we were free

Sang: haan we appreciate it only now because we are past it.

Holi Hai!

These are pics from Holi at Clark. We had organized a party at Sheela’s house, invited all IDCE students. 60-70 peole turned up. We had Gulaal, Bhaang, Food, Liquor and Mithai. Danced non-stop for 4-5 hours mostly on bollywood songs. Was so fun!

Woo!

When I made my decision of studying in worcester I was very uncertain what to expect. I was told it was a sad town though Idce is a good department. I checked the weather and it shows averages of -20 c in winters (I could not feel nor think in fahrenheit then). It's strange the way worcester grew on me. Its amazing how it changed me. It began innocently, a tweak here, a pull there. A splash of color, a figure of speech. Im sure it smiles when it stands back and watches its handiwork. It grows bolder everyday. Sang says I even have a kinda worcester accent and I picked some new england vocab.

Worcester also supplied me a new set of clothes, a different circle of friends. I love eating at tiny Vietnamese restaurants. I never thought before that I would be hanging out with women from Tonga, Nepal, Zimbabwe, Mexico, Indonesia…. It is like the UN general assembly, only I bet its much funner. Its amazing how new places feed on the appetite for change. It has erased few memories...some faces became blurred, some people a distant recollection. Gone are many old habits, the old ways. Often times worcester has enveloped me and made me its own. I feel sometimes like I belong here. There are times when I wish hyderabad like crazy. But for now, this is my home. Tomorrow I might feel different though.

Yesterday after having studying working for almost 12 hours non-stop when I stepped out there were snow flurries. For once, I did not mind the cold. Worcester looked beautiful.

three cheers for the communist protesters

Protests greet Wal-Mart in India
Communist protesters were briefly arrested after they marched on government buildings in Delhi, waving placards saying "Save small retailers".
I hate the idea of wal-mart coming to India or any where! All these chain stores ruin the of livelihoods small retailers and bandi walas and galli shops. They make every place look like a photocopy of another.

the minister who can't hold his head high!

West Bengal Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee said "At Singur, we will never go back. It is not possible. If I go back in this case, I will never be able to raise my head. It will send a very wrong message all over the world, all over the country," to a private TV channel.
He’s worried about raising his head! What about the families who lose their houses, livelihoods, their lands, farms, jobs because of this land? What about the message he is sending to the people in West Bengal who voted for him and got him to power? Why do we need these 1 lakh cars on the roads in the first place? We need to invest on better public transport. We already have no places to drive on the roads. We do not need more cars or pollution!!

"I am sure I will be able to make them (people of Singur) understand why Singur project is necessary for the development of our state," he said in reply to questions.
Whose development? The Tatas, their shareholders and the fund for the minister’s next political campaign?

sunshine on my shoulders

i used to always hate summers and used to wonder why did john denver ever sing 'Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy'....last night i was dead tired plus I was chumming ...I slept without putting the heater on woke up frozen in the middle of the night.....stared at the heater without the strength to wake up and put it on slept back all frozen....turns out it was -17 C last night...no wonder i felt so cold.....today morning was good...the sun was out (is out every day but could feel the warmth today) ...the snow is still there...looks pretty and melting and the lake is still frozen...but the squirells were out...and found my selves thinking of the sunshine song....and i know I would still hate the sun when i would be doing field work in 45-50 degrees C in the summers and have migraines....but i love it for now...'If I had a day that I could give you.; Id give to you a day just like today!'

carrying the Whiteman’s burden!

I have been having an amazing time at the group discussions I run as a teaching assistant for ‘cultural anthropology’. Initially I was a little anxious because unlike the other T.A Anna I am an Indian and all my students are American. I knew dealing will cultural anthropology would mean bringing in the ‘west and the rest discourse’ and the undergraduates would have to grapple with the ‘Whiteman’s burden’. I did not know if they would think I was ethnocentric and hate me if I would be bashing the west and modernity. I came up with one strategy and crossed my fingers that it would work. Most of the students are well read and cool but there sure are 2-3 overtly ethnocentric jerks so I came I asked them if they would like to volunteer to lead discussions and I would facilitate it when they get stuck. The strategy worked like magic, because now when the bunch of jerks question ethnic cultures the other bunch of kids counter it. The funnest thing was on the first day I gave them a form asking them how they think that the others perceived the Americans. Out of 25 students, only one person had half a decent thing to say the rest had only negative things!

where are you from??

I never thought of this before as I have been thinking of recently. When people at here ask me where am I from I would say India. For most people here India is one mass lumped together. Moreover, India was not this one lump before were colonized. India as it is was created by the act of mapping it. Before that India as we call it today was a bunch of about 560 self-governing ‘princely states’. This country has more than 20 official languages and 1000 dialects. It has extremely diverse cuisine that used varied ingredients, spices and cooking methods depending on the region. They do not understand though India is seventh largest by size it has a population of about 1.2 billion people; this means every sixth person in the world is an India. Therefore, it unfair when I fill forms here I need to tick on Asians despite the fact that we are Indians are 1.2 Bn, while there are just 300 Mn. Americans.

Anyways the bigger problem I grapple with is when some people do know that India is not just a mass lumped together and they ask me where am I from in India!!! I would be like I am from Hyderabad but my parents are from Rajasthan. If I say, I am a hyderabadi the next question would be I you speak in Telugu. Then I am like no not really just some broken bits. I can ask people’s name and for food in telugu. But I do know Marwadi. I cannot even really claim to be a Rajasthani because I have just visited there and not ever lived there……………so my big question is what does one say one asked where are you from? Who /what decides where am I from? Does it change depending on situations? Or where I am from is where I feel I am from? For today I am from Hyderabad but tomorrow I might be a Rajasthani!

Follow me!

I do not remember this too well… but mom says gudiya (sang) used to follow me everywhere I went including to my school when she was just two years old. The principal got annoyed of seeing her come everyday and asked mom-dad to admit her also with me. To this day, even when she is not physically present she is constantly in touch. She does that to sandy too. But sandy sometimes gets annoyed with her asking where he is and what he’s doing! I love it however

of pickles and all nighters!

after studying for 5 hours straight despite the cold weather I needed to treat myselves....Nope i did not have treat mysleves with vodka, kalhua, wine or dark chocolates! i treated myselves with gongura pachadi and rice....by the way it was really cold and windy all day and the wind actually made those horror film time noises...btw way the current temperature is 9 degrees F/ -13 degrees C.

missing home

Wake up read, eat, walk, read, eat, meet up loa, hang out at acoustic java or idce, meet sheela for lunch, go to linsey’s house for dinner, wash, clean, eat, read, check mails, cook, baby sit nico, work, read………..this is more or less what I have been doin in Worcester……I hardly have any free time in fact I work hard to not have free time…cos having free time forces me to think…when I do think I invariably think of home (home is where dad-mom, sang-sandy and ross are) I miss sleeping on my bed…waking up to see coca squeezed between sang n me, ross waiting to get outta the room…mom and dad having tea after their morning walk, chandu waiting to thrust tray of fruits and sprouts and milk in our room…..i miss all of that and more

walking across crystal lake

Hey finally I did it!!
It snowed like crazy last night and worcetsre looked beautiful this morning...loa , nico and i walked across crystal lake despite the warnings that it is not completely frozen and we could fall in the dirty frozen water....but such little things in life are what gives a kick....i couldn't beleive i did it until i was in the the middle of the lake...will do it tomm again!

Jaane kya dhoondta hai, ae mera dil

revisiting the song that touches me each time i hear it!!

Jaane kya dhoondta hai, ae mera dil
Tujhko kya chaahiye zindagi

Raaste hi raaste hain, kaisa hai yeh safar
Dhoondti hain jisko nazrein, jaane hai voh kidhar

Bechehra sa koi sapna hai voh
Kahin nahin hai phir bhi apna hai voh
Aise mere andar shaamil hai voh
Main hoon behta dariya, saahil hai voh
Hai kahan voh, voh kidhar hai, raaste kuch to bata
Kaun sa uska nagar hai, rehguzar kuch to bata
Dhoondti hain jisko nazrein, jaane hai voh kidhar

Soona sa hai mandir, moorat nahin
Khaali hai aaina, soorat nahin
Jeene ka jeevan mein kaaran to ho
Maheke kaise kaliyaan, gulshan to ho
Shamma hai jo mujh mein roshan, voh viraasat kisko doon
Door tak koi nahin hai, apni chaahat kisko doon
Dhoondti hain jisko nazrein, jaane hai voh kidhar

of lazy afternoons between classes!!

that is behind the crystal lake on a sunny afternoon in the fall.....loa, tara and me had such a nice time...did not feel like getting back to the classes and other mundane things of the world!

remembering colors of autumn

Its been so cold for so long ....makes me miss the colors of autumn.....i do not mind the snow.....worcester looks beautiful when it snows.....the times i dislike are the inbetween times when its freezing cold and no snow....snow makes dressing in multiple layers and freezing in the cold worthwhile

Happy anniversary

Happy 1st wedding anniversary to sang and manoj.
Jayesh and I spoke to them both this morning…..both sounded happy together…..I wish they stay like this always. Amen!

jayesh n I

I have been married to ‘jayesh’ or ‘jesh’ as coca calls him for more than a year now. For most part, so far we have been mostly travel, shopping and cooking companions… Only yesterday, I felt lonely despite a million friends I have in Worcester. This time instead of sangeeta (my lifeline) I automatically called jayesh. I broke down and made him cry also. However, at the end I felt much better.

Felt I have really found great friend in him. He can be stubborn sometimes but mostly he is sweet. I hope we continue to be such friends always…..though I know we’ll still fight for silly things…..

Newyears in virginia with surbhi

It dint feel like I was seeing surbhi after 7 years.....she has changed a lot ...but our the relationship we share has remained the same....it was like we picked up from where we left......amrit her son is ditto surbhi...sweet and good.....ria is a total gundi...she can beat up amrit though she's two years younger.....if she sees you bend by chance she'll be climbing over you before you realize...she's ever hungry....but is so cute....im glad nisha could join us for a day was nice to catch up with her

in florida with nibi, hemant and ahana at christmas

It was fantabulous to see nibi, hemant and Ahana. Ahana is such an angel.....she has the cutest smile....and she is ever smiling except for the time she is fed......and she smiles not just with her lips but also with her nose and eyes....she dances like a bollywood queen.....nibi has not changed at all in the last 5 years...she still the same laid-back, bindas person she was.....love her....hemant made the most amazing cocktails....flavors like raspberry, melon, and what have you! but the best was the coffee in the morning that hemant woke up nibi and me to....was fun to be at the beach when I knew worcester was freezing cold......

My siblings: My best freinds

Sangeeta or Gudiya as we fondly call her has the patience to be nice to the nastiest souls. She does not to know how to say 'no' to anyone except mom n me. She has amazingly high energy for coordinating events and making all our late lateef gang come. Bubbly and I tease her sometimes about spending all her energy on losers and taking all the ones that care about her for granted. She is a darling sis. Sandy pretends to be laid-back and kewl but he isn’t. he worries more about what sang and I eat, wear, speak to than mom does. He cares a lot about people. He can be a brat sometimes but mostly he’s really sweet. He is easily influenced by his friends and thinks we do not know when he sneaks outta home (now even ross knows when he sneaks out). When he is at home and not locked up in his room, he can be entertaining. We fight like crazy but also love each other like crazy too. I miss sang when I pack; arrange my clothes, shop, cook. I miss her in everything I do. Miss sandy’s comments about all that we both and our friends do. Miss hanging out with them both and sleeping on the same bed with ross trying to squeeze in between.