My cynicism, 108, et al

A little after sashi joined the satyam foundation team I had seen a walk out from our Monday morning meeting at the barkatpura office for the first time in three years. That was the first time I had seen any stress in this some what queer space (queer space in my mind is a space that is inclusive though it does have space for conflicts and questioning). This was incidentally one of the last Monday morning meetings held. You could check the last entry in the minute’s diary to confirm it. I could not take sides because over time I had begun to adore and respect lalitha, sashi and lalita. At that moment I had thought barkatpura is the way it is because it did not want to be like a corporate house. We are not about modules and other mundane things. As much as I believed sashi is never wrong I thought he should not be getting in the satyam corporate jargons to thinksoft. Now the way I look at it is more complex than that. I know in many ways the way satyam foundation works depends on what raju feels like. But in my interactions with sashi and others I realized that many of them were there not just for the salary or fame but because they felt committed to causes they were working on.

It’s been a week since I came back from mehbubnagar but unlike the last time I did not write an everyday note. This wasn’t because I did not have time. It was because what happened there was far more intense for me to write it like a diary. Everything seemed alright in terms of the community kitchen at karni and muslaipally this time. But when we reached Anugonda we felt there was something not right. It felt too silent. We would see a 108 vehicle come into the village every now and then. We went straight to the sarpanch’s house to inquire. He was having a drink you have when one’s dehydrated. We asked him what was wrong and said we will return later if he was unwell. He said no wait and that he needed to speak to us. He finished his drink and was quiet. Unlike this person who spoke real powerfully in front of an audience of 250 in an all india conference. We asked him how the community kitchen was working in the village. He broke down and said it was shut for two days. When we asked him what happened he said that satya sai drinking water was shut for one day because the motor broke down and 100 people in the village have fallen sick (with motions and vomiting) and two died. He later showed us the well from where the villagers drank water in absence of the satya sai water. It did not look like a well it was more like a swamp. That’s the reason 108 vehicle’s have been coming in almost every 10 minutes to take people to the hospital and even his son was out for three days getting supplies for people and taking them to the hospital.

My cynicism, 108, et al……I used to think all the foundations of big companies used to be set up for the rich so they do not spend guilty about big pay pockets. 108 which was the brainchild of some satyamite disproved my cynicism about them.

You know you are on Hyderabad roads when…

At 9 in the morning driving to work you see this man in fancy glares and cordless hands free; dressed in formals that are a little glossy; he’s in this shiny-sleek black luxury car; he is in the middle of this road which has chronically high traffic and he is right in between the road; he suddenly opens his car door (yes he is on the driving seat); his head pops out and he looks down like he’s searching for a precious possession of his and what he does really is spit gutka!

Co-opting versus aligning

Its amazing to work with people who are radical activists.....for one they know they will not be the majority but they know about aligning with different people whether its the academia, corporates, students, NGOs, military or the State....I haven't yet seen a radcical activist co-opt........but its different with academics who are confused or trying to look cool by calling themselves activists but make a big fuss in face of having to align with people with whom they have ego clashes but in no time will co-opt when power changes place.

“Allah aapki jodi salamat rakhe”

When said that people back of immediately saying yeh mera shohar /begum nahin hai. Are ‘joidis’ or ‘pairs’ a natural state of being? How many people ever think about how jodi’s could be friends, sisters, mom and daughter, partners, colleagues? How many people think that how families/ pairs/ jodis/ couples are but social constructions? If we were meant to be a fixed 1-1 jodi woudn’t we be born stuck to each other?

Chotella!

That was what I had named my lil’ sis. I had lunch with her …just me and her……this just happened twice in the whole entire time I’ve been back (we used to sleep in the same bed, live in the same room, go to school together till marriage split us up)……the time I spend with her means a lot to me. I still remember when she would hide behind me and let me face scolding from parents and I would do it happily for her and sandy. When she spoke about how she wants to start a family in two years it felt like a role reversal. Cos now im this wanderer without a base and she speaks like she’s older than me.