Ups and Downs

I have been technically unemployed for more or less a year now. I was paid part time for parts of it when we worked almost full time hours plus I had work authorization. After being a volunteer for almost a year and a half for WRP and TSB I was asked if I wanted work visa. I had to decide within a week and so did the board. The tricky part is I am a Board member also. A part of me thought I need a real paid job forget about the financial situation of the board. I even asked M to get in touch with the lawyer and find out the detail and he did.

Of course the consultation with the lawyer confirmed what we already knew organizing with worcester's immigrant coalition, that this system is set up to discourage non us citizens from legally working.

After a day of back and forth I could finally think as a board member and I realized this made no sense. The budget for the next year is not yet ratified. We all came out of the reflection meeting with people coming out honestly about their concerns. And their were more concerns than I though. I was really shocked when B stated how she did not want to go on with us after May. I really thought if at all she is really happy with her work because she meets all her deadlines and even exceeds them. I could not help but wear my board member hat and relinquish the luxury of having a paid job for a couple of more months.

I did realize too that my being able to volunteer is a position of privilege and luxury. I have the choice to engage and disengage at my will. I also have the time to do things that please me at my own sweet pace without worrying about missing my slingshot appointments. I really do hope though that this luxury does not last forever. Cause work pleases me not working kills me! I feel more than ever that I have swam far away from my land and I am ready to find new shores and return back to my land.